Perceive This

How do I know I’m who I want to be,

and not who you want me to be?

How do I see myself as a solitary individual,

when I’m a number in billions?

How do I know I’m doing it right?

Why do I always want to be doing it right?

How do I make meaning of this life when all I can seem to do is live in a way that merely hopes to suffice for those who came before me?

How do I make meaning of this life when I live in my own capitalistic world, and millions of people starve and labor for the chance at a meal, the chance of cover from the coming storm..

How can I live for something when people kill over nothing.

Growing tired as evil eyes encourage my silence.

How can I live in truth?

How can I know that who I am is enough?

That the art I make is enough?

How will I know this journey is worth while?

How do I move when it feels like I’m stuck in this moment? Frozen in time. Frozen in fear.

How can I be enough?

How could I have been too much?

“Just show up”

How can I be myself when showing up feels like a parade to be witnessed.

A show to be critiqued.

It feels like parts of my soul are lost in translation.

Lines redacted, I prune and I prune.

Cutting away at myself

I try to tend my garden for you