Something that I love to do is ride my bike.
I’m fortunate to live in beautiful sunny southern california, and I’ve been riding bikes on the boardwalk since before i could actually ride a bike. thanks mom and dad.
the other day I was on a bike ride downtown.
I stopped at a grassy spot off the boardwalk, overlooking the beach. as I sat there, I let my mind clear. I let it wander, to gratitude, to peace, to quiet. as my mind quieted, I was gifted with a beautiful thought.
I love riding my bike for so many reasons. It’s beautiful, it’s fun, and such a good work out. my body is so happy when I ride my bike, and I feel so relaxed after.
don’t limit your creative expression to numbers and profit
I see myself primarily as an artist. I'm an author, I love graphic design, I'm a guided meditation producer & outside of business I love painting (acrylic and watercolor) writing, creating poetry & expressing myself through fashion.
When I was in the third grade we were given an assignment to choose what we wanted to be when we grew up. I decided that I wanted to be an artist when I grew up, and I can picture the painting that I drew of me with a canvas and holding a paint palette (the adult artist that I would one day be). I often think of this, and feel a sense of gratitude and appreciation for this little girl who loved art and expression. I love that being an “artist” can hold so much meaning. Artists are painters, sculptors, authors, musicians, architects, thought leaders, even athletes! You can infuse your personal art into whatever you do, regardless of occupation.
being an artist is freeing. it’s allowing yourself to create, recreate, destroy, and create again. it’s allowing first drafts, second drafts. it’s being a masterpiece and a work in progress all at once.
I would never want to limit myself or my expression. but that’s what I have been doing. I've spent the last few years developing this brand and trying to get myself out there in front of the right audience. I've put so much energy into trying to grow my instagram specifically. I've grown my following by hundreds of people, but I can’t help but feel like I've wasted my energy.
I’m trying to prove my worth in an arena that quantifies every move I make. if i’m being honest it is kind of disheartening to put my whole heart into a post or story or reel, and then it not even be pushed onto my followers feeds.
I would like to express that my focus is on making an impact and helping people, not getting likes or follows: but if the people who follow me can’t even see my posts, what’s the point of continuing to use my energy in the same way.
I’ve honestly grown so tired of the platform that I don’t want to even be on it right now.
(it should also be noted that as a business owner, my purpose and goal are having a profitable business. corporations are designed to make money, and that is the most tangible marker of success. and growing on instagram has not had an impact on sales.)
I'm the kind of person who will let go of something is not working or fulfilling for my soul.. not to say that I'm leaving instagram, but I'm definitely going to (continue to) change how I show up.
I feel called to putting more energy towards the blog, building the Blue Wellness website, & creating guided meditations, both for free on youtube and for sale in the Blue Wellness Shop.
I will continue to post daily stories, new projects and bts (that's "behind the scenes" 😌) on instagram, as it's where I can communicate with a large portion of the Blue Wellness community & can chat with many good friends & people I look up to. 🥰 I am forever grateful for my community there ♾️
But I'm also grateful to be returning to my own sacred creative space, & work from a place of freedom and autonomy. Knowing that I will never be censored on my own website.
Thank you for reading & being with me on this journey.